I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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