Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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