i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
