Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
