your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
