Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
