I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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