do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
