you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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