with your own penis?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
