It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
