I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
