I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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