i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
