literally had 100 drinks last night.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
