dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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