my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
