is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
