Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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