hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
