I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
