So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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