I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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