"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
