We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
