is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
