almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
