party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
