Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
