She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
