I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
