She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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