I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
