So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
