Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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