Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
