Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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