I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
