my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
