Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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