He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
