Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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