Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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