Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
