i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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