..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
