yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
