Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
