I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
