They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
