i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
